How long does the grieving process take? Lately I keep becoming overwhelmed by emotions and grief I didn't even realize were still there. I'm sure lately it's been worse since I should be holding him right now, but I would really like to go a day without suddenly feeling like all my air has been sucked out, leaving me shocked and devastated. I thought that would have stopped by now.
I'm thinking that maybe I should read C.S. Lewis' A Grief Observed. I've read it before, but that was simply because I wanted to read it. Maybe now I could get help from it?
I don't know... I almost feel ridiculous for the way I'm feeling, and at the same time I feel like I'm betraying myself and my child for even saying that. Every emotion imaginable is swirling through my body and mind like a hormonal hurricane and I hate it. I don't know what to feel.
I don't know what I SHOULD feel.
I need help and no matter how much I pray I don't feel like I'm getting it. I feel like God is ignoring me. Every time I pray, I end it begging for help. And I feel alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment