On why I hate "The Giving Tree"

   I never liked the book "The Giving Tree" as a kid...I still don't. It always depressed me, because the kid/man was so selfish and more or less killed the tree and the tree loved him so much that her self-sacrifice made her happy.
   Maybe on a subconscious level (though I am now becoming aware of it) I don't like it because it hits too close to home.  God gives and gives and gives and we happily take it, never thinking of what it does to Him, how we have hurt and damaged Him for our own  happiness. He went so far as to DIE for us, and we still want more. By human nature we are selfish, but how can we not be? All that we know is what we directly experience.  So to us, the world revolves around us and our problems or happiness.
   I think what bothers me most about "The Giving Tree" is that the boy NEVER thanks the tree for her generosity.  And she's not really happy because he keeps abandoning her. Do we do that to God? Am I guilty of asking for things and then not even being grateful for them; abandoning Him when I feel I have gotten what I want? I hope not. I try to be thankful and praise Him no matter what is going on. I hope I am not just taking and taking without being thankful and trying to repay the kindness I've been given. Something to focus on I guess...

The attempt at keeping faith and finding peace no matter what

I have to get a colonoscopy on Tuesday. I'm trying to make light of it and just joke about getting probed by aliens, but the truth is, I am scared. Initially I was just a little concerned, but the closer it gets to Tuesday, the more upset I get. It's not so much the whole, getting anally violated with a camera thing that freaks me out, although that is super awkward. It's the idea that I'm bleeding internally and have no idea why. I am very anxious to learn why because I am exhausted and sick and in pain constantly and it is wearing me down, but of course my mind goes to terrible places and makes awful assumptions of what it may be. Logic tells me it is probably not that big of a deal, but I have so many issues, especially gastroenterological ones that it is hard to not wonder if there is something more serious behind it.
Then there is a part of me that says I have to just stop caring altogether...for a couple reasons. One, for the simple fact that if I let myself care, I will care too much and be a wreck. Two, and most importantly, I have God on my side and I trust in Him wholly and completely. If for some reason He sees fit that I have something very wrong with me, I know He will guide me through it and make something good come from it. If it is something minor, He still cares and won't make me feel stupid for worrying.