My sweet baby Nico,
Today was supposed to be a day of rejoicing and celebration. Instead it was a double hit of loss and sorrow. We should be spending Mother's Day together...I should be holding you and celebrating that today is also your six month birthday. Not only were you taken from me too soon, but your older sibling as well.  Mother's Day is a reminder to me that the world is a cruel and unfair place. I can however take comfort in knowing that nothing and no one in this cruel place can ever hurt you, and you aren't lonely because you have each other.
You taught me and surprised me with how deeply I could love. My love for you will never change, will never weaken. I will love and mourn you for the rest of my life.
I know that even in my belly you had your own personality that was unique to you. You liked UFC nights- you would get really active and kick and punch me as if practicing along with the television. You did not like cold water- if I got in the pool and the water was below 70 degrees you would tense up and get angry. You enjoyed biscuits and gravy and often made special requests for them. You hated chicken and peanut butter, always sending it back if I tried to feed them to you. You liked keeping Mommy awake at night because you were always wide awake at 8:00 and wanted company for your dance parties. You also liked making me sprint to the bathroom in the middle of the night- reminding me who was in charge with karate chops to the bladder. You were very partial to one side of my body and left me looking very lopsided and strange. You liked to nestle up under my ribs and keep my heart and lungs company. It is in my heart that you will ways be. You also liked when Daddy would put his hand on you, the warmth seemed to relax you.
My sweet eldest child whom I need to find a name for: you also had likes and dislikes, even in the very short time I knew you. You only liked four foods: Starburst FaveReds, rice cakes, cottage cheese and lemon cook and serve pudding.  You especially disliked spicy food and would immediately reject it. You taught me what it was to hope and overcome the odds that PCOS had threatened.
I love you both so much and as your mommy I wanted to take this day to remember the good things as well as grieve you.

 My lopsided belly full of you, my Nico.

A tribute to you, my love:

 Your footprint from the hospital and your initials.

And for my other love, though it pertains to you both:

"He shall live forever and see no corruption or decay. " Just below my heart